10 questions to put into a stupor the seller of photographic equipment

The sellers are certainly good people, but sometimes, even more often than usual, they tend to impose their point of view regarding your future photo tool and photo booth cost wedding. At the same time, they pour, to put it mildly, controversial statements, passing them off as almost absolutely recognized truths. If you think about each of these proposals separately, they rarely have solid ground (who would doubt it, because it has long been proven that, at least, our readers are the most educated readers in the world and are capable of cracking down a scoundrel).

However, instead of indulging in lengthy explanations that the seller is wrong (you will hear an order of magnitude more crazy statements in response, you will lose time, but you still won’t convince the seller), we, as supporters of the trash direction both in photo theory and in photo practice (thought up finally, an industry that has not yet been stained by anyone), we suggest that you, on the contrary, take Suvorov’s advice and (no, you don’t need to drag him to the Alps), beat the enemy with his own weapon, if he is alien to the voice of reason. Let’s fill the stupid bourgeois with brain-bearing nonsense!

Since our regular reader Ilyukha brought us to the idea of ​​the article, we, firstly, will make the article open and constantly updated (as always, with reference and verbal thanks to the most prolific for ideas), although we ourselves will try to make no less useful contribution. We will not explain each individual phrase, translate it into an accessible language – jokes are not explained – we will simply quote it point by point.

“Does the camera have a gray card white balance preset when shooting in RAW?”
“Do you know, if you shoot in RAW, will the dynamic range of this camera fit into thirty centimeters and what is the best way to measure it? Will a building level work?
“They say that in the canons of this series, you can reflash the matrix so that the resolution increases by two megapixels (a friend of mine did this and sneers me). Do you know a good service that does this?
“Do you have a pencil for cleaning large optics? And then my children slapped a lens with a front lens of 1500 mm, and they recommend cleaning only with pencils. Are there any pink ones?
“Does this camera have a function to cover up pimples on the face?”
“And how can I connect a photo umbrella to this camera?”
“Is it true that when shooting with an infrared filter, the person in the photo turns out to be naked?”
“I’m left-handed. Do you sell cameras with a left hand grip and with a viewfinder for the left eye?
“Wow, what cool cameras you have for sale! All professional, black and white! Do you have color cameras? I’m just buying for my wife as a gift … She only loves color photographs … ”
“My friend, a professional photographer, shoots in medium format. Such healthy, square pictures are obtained! I want that too! Sell ​​me this fotik and to him …. schaas, somewhere here I had it recorded … Aha, here it is! … And it has a digital back for 120th film! Just give me 36 shots, I don’t need a backdrop for short film!”
“Why do you need to turn the zoom knobs in these DSLRs ??? Get out in the compacts and the zoom is 20x, and leaves at the push of a button !!! And it’s cheaper!”
“Is there a camera with a built-in flash that puffs up and sideways? I was told it was for artistic effect, and external flashes that swivel are expensive!”
“Do you have protective chameleon filters that darken in bright sunlight? I was told that in the bright sun without a filter, you can burn the matrix!
“Do you have adapters for large matrices for compacts?”
“And what lens is best for girls to hang themselves on?”
“Are there white lenses for Nikon? And then they told me that normal boys shoot only on white ones.
“Looking for a tripod to make an HD webcam out of a DSLR. Which one do you recommend?”
“Do you have Pentax mount toner cartridges?”
Women’s question: “Does it have an anti-tonal and anti-powder coating?”
Another female: “I need a camera with an eyecup that is protected from ink smearing.”
“Which cameras have the function of copying color and black-and-white texts in the presets, in cases where you need to copy a large volume, but the scanner is not available?”
“Is there an in-camera conversion to Word or other text format?”
“Is there a camcorder with a parental control function on sale, I want to give it to my son for 14 years, but so that he can’t shoot nudes, or what’s going on with them … They somehow distinguish face and even smile devices!”
“Are there interchangeable panels for this camera? And then suddenly I get tired of the body ”
“Do you have adapters for M41, M42 and M43 with dandelions and other colors?”
“Why are lenses round but photos are rectangular?”
Let’s be more conscious in choosing a camera, come up with more questions (of course, we will update and say thank you to everyone) in order to bombard sellers with their quantity and quality.